I'm starting to reconsider having movie nights with Erebus. It was fun watching things and having him try and puzzle out why things were happening, but now I'm not so sure.
This came about from watching Return of the Jedi. He doesn't like Star Wars anyway because the Force reminds him of psyker powers and he reckons he could defeat the Empire single-handedly and wah wah wah I'm a big blue baby, but I managed to sit him down and make him watch the whole thing this time. All the way to the end with the big party with the fuzzy bear things and everyone being awesome.
And then he sees one of the bears playing drums with the stormtrooper helmets, and he starts making a big fuss about the devlish zeenose or however you spell it. So I ask him about it.
So the little bears eat people, yeah? I mean, they were totally gonna eat our heroes just for being there, and nothing would get them to stop until Luke decided to use his mind powers to trick them. So what's stopping them from eating the stormtroopers after the battle? They don't take prisoners, it's a thing the clearly do often to trespassers and it's not like it's easy to convince them otherwise. Plus you don;t see any prisoners of war after the battle - just the dancing people on Endor and the helmets.
So yeah, those dudes totally ate some people.
Goddamn it Erebus, how fucked up is your world that not only do you suspect every alien of shady shit, but you're right as well? Now I can't watch Star Wars ever again. :(
They could've just left the Stormtroopers dead in the woods, where nobody would ever find their bodies or care enough to acknowledge them.
ReplyDelete. . . I'm not helping, am I?
NO YOU'RE NOT D:<
Deletewhat was his reaction to luke and leia being brother and sister
ReplyDeleteHalf an hour of unprintable swearing :(
DeleteXD
DeleteYeah, Erebus! Just because Reptile USED to eat heads, doesn't mean he does NOW.
ReplyDelete...Does he? I'll ask him.
It is not my fault that no matter the medium, Xenos are both malevolent and filled with inhuman thought-processes and cruelty. Evil disturbing bear-children are no exception to the rule.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, please do not discontinue movie night; If it helps, I will keep my opinion of these and other aberrations to myself as best I can.
...I could have defeated the Empire single-handedly, though.
Which one was the Empire?
DeleteThe faction with the Imperial-guardesque warriors of white armor, Along with the Warrior in black, Darth Vader.
DeleteThose?! Oh, yes. You and I together would bring them to their knees with less effort than I would put into kicking this damned stupid black cat.
DeleteHave you seen THEIR Emperor? "Oh, gaze in wonder at my ability to throw lighting!" HAH, Mortal! I could do that when I was seventeen!
Agreed, but, er, this may have been part of what Jonesy was referencing, so perhaps we should continue this in person.
DeleteI wish I had a husband who understood pop culture >:(
DeleteI don't. Otherwise we would have never been gifted with the phrase "evil disturbing bear-children".
DeleteNow, I'm not completely in the dark! I immensely enjoyed Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, as it was humorous AND educational (for me, in any case)
DeleteAlthough I know I have seen Ted before, perhaps in some kind of other movie.... Ah well.
Aw, but hearing Erebus' thoughts on everything is so fun!
ReplyDeleteSo . . . what are your thoughts on ET, Erebus?
DEAR GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS BIG BRO
DeleteZeff, this isn't funny. >:(
DeleteHey guys. Erebus wanted me to type his response so that he wouldn't have to keep tapping the keys with a pencil. Anyway;
Delete"E.T? That accursed, foul little xenos who mind-controlled that boy before infecting him with alien diseases and marking the earth for his own people to come and enslave?"
"I will tell you this much; Had I been that child, I would have sooner destroyed the wretched monster than allow it to establish some kind of thrice-cursed link with me, resulting in the compromisation of any and all abilities to function. I have to wonder if a Genestealer had enormously present eyes and a lack of teeth, would civilization crumble as people went to bond with them out of a misguided sense of safety or innocence?!"
"E.T is a foul creature, and I can only hope Spielberg will never know the abyss he has gazed into yet emerged from unscathed with the luck of a fool."
....I want to add that I liked E.T. A lot. He was cute and he needed help.... :'(
Tell Erebus he's sleeping on the couch tonight.
DeleteD: Sorry you guys
DeleteI did, he gave me a confused look and asked why. I, uh, explained to him that maybe him getting really mad about Xenos probably wasn't a great thing to have to keep hearing....
DeleteAlso Pech wanted to chime in, but he's just yelling a lot of curse words and his eyes are glowing and I don't think he's stopped stringing them together for fifty seconds, so I probably won't post that on your blog. =C
....Also he just lit our table on fire (I think accidentally) but it's out now so that's okay.
...I like some Xenos. E.T was cute, and some Eldar saved me once before, well, Pech killed them all =C
I can't tell you what to tell Pech on this blog because there might be children reading. "Stop poking your non-existant nose in other people's business" will do.
DeleteUgh, I'm going to bed.
I'm not really appreciating Erebus' thoughts on alien life forms, I have to say.
DeleteSo good to see you on the internet, Biollante!
DeleteDon't worry about Erebus. He just needs to meet a few more and he might warm up to 'em. I mean, if it worked for robots, magic, the possibility of love, and ponies, I'm sure it'd work for aliens.
Oh god don't even get me started on "Ebonhooves" xD
DeleteWhile I would love nothing more than to give an in-depth analysis of why Xenos are the cancer in the universe's existence, sleeping on this cursedly lumpy, short couch has given me a new perspective. Or perhaps just reawoken a desire to not sleep on a damned couch.
DeleteI will shut the Warp up regarding Xenos and their foulness from hence on, unless it is specifically called for.
That sound you all hear is a whipcrack XD
DeleteFunny, due to Garnet asking you to refrain from using your powers in the house, did we not have to re-sand, varnish, and buff that table so you could avoid irritating her?
DeleteI SWORE YOU TO SECRECY.
DeleteGaaaahahahahahaha!
Delete